Divestiture of Valued Objects

Here’s my Christmas thought — I would like to tell my children and their spouses/significant others this: Come to my/our house between December 25-January 2nd and choose five (5) items you want. Then take the Five Items with you. If I do this every birthday and Christmas (my birthday and theirs) I figure I can empty my house in 17 years. This divestiture includes my random object removal process via Goodwill and Salvation Army to accompany the What Do You Want method.

two times a year for me + my children twice a years x = 2me(17 years) x 4adults(2x Yearly x 17 years) or something over something multiplied by that something and divided by the amount of shit I’ve collected in my 62 years.

I can’t write out a proper construct because my husband has CNN on, blaring throughout the house, you’d think he was 80 years old and needed this screaming BREXIT information because it is “concerning” my biggest fucking word twist of the season, but no, my spouse is less than 50 and his hearing is perfect. So I won’t blog anymore today because I’m stuck in what seems to be old man hell confounded by the fact that he is NOT an old man, yet the news blares 24/7 throughout the household unless I turn it off. It’s some new syndrome

24/7 BullShit Syndrome which became prevalent during the 2016 election cycle and now, it remains in the victims because they must TWEET, they must deal with the ignorance of a privileged frat boy, now they listen, without knowing they listen — the new syndrome is insidious, repeats ad nauseum, and contains no information of value, all the time to breaking news that is not breaking news. The victims only hear the advertisements and respond by “Jesus Christ!” and then they mute the TV. You can see I’m rendered almost speechless by this assault on my mental state.

I had a thought. A thought about living small. The cycles of life. Living small in 20s before objects appear, then needing larger space due to children and the collection of more objects (and more and more), followed by the empty nest and then the desire to live small again. Tiny houses? RVs? The Boomers leave their large homes to live, only temporarily, in smaller homes (RVs) trying to escape all the objects they now own but can’t get rid of.

My kids and their spouses want nothing in my house. Well, they might take the iMacs or the iPads, perhaps a Kindle here and there, but no object of size or relative worthy. I have chests of drawers, desks, tables, chairs. couches. and small objects? Thousands, literally thousands, of objects I’ve collected that range from 1700s to 1960s. I have an ephemera trail that astounds me and interests no one else. Letters and documents over 200 years old — no one wants these or if they do, they don’t know me … (I know you’re out there, you collectors, but you don’t know I exist) I bought old old old really old (get it, really old) paper when EBAY first reared its ugly little head. Bought ephemera by the POUND and ended up with all this wonderful stuff. just stuff.

TV is back on. Since no one is reading this let me say — don’t collect shit unless you have a parachute. Know how to rid yourself of belongings while you grab those belongings to add to your home. I’ve got houseful of stuff, come and get it. Call me, email me, come by — it’s not about what it’s worth. Come and get it.




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