Categotry Archives: A DIARY — Oxycontin Withdrawal

No Oxy in the House

When I decided to cease taking oxycontin, it meant more than just simply stopping a certain drug. I think almost everyone knows that oxy cessation causes physical and mental reactions, all of them devastating and difficult. There were many reasons I stopped Oxy. Small town, big conversations. I simply didn’t want to be known as a person with Oxycontin in my house. I knew my neural pathways were damaged by the six years of oxycontin use. Remember my disclaimer: I […]

Flunked my piss test

How funny is that? Had to go a week later and pee again, for Tramadol. Peeing for Tramadol, not even an opioid. Ridiculous. Apparently I need to drink a LOT of water for a few days before going to the doctor, in case the random testing begins anew. Point taken … no more amphetamines or salad before doctor appointments. thanks for not reading… see you in the funny papers.   Artist David Munroe as featured image.

Opiates and Nipples

Genitalia Discussion, Anyone? Oh, wait! First a news flash. I had to sign a Pain Contract with my new internist. New contract meant a piss test. So I gave them my sample and get this — the nurse called me to let me know I “passed my drug test”. “Well, hot damn!” I told her, “I kinda’ thought I would.” Fortunately, being me, this 61 year old, looks-like middle-class educated white woman schtick I do pays off with repartee’ and comedy […]

The Effects Begin … Opiate Withdrawal

Getting off of Oxycontin is about rewiring your brain. It’s about neural pathways. While wiring for nicotine might sound stupid, it’s not as dumb as it sounds. A pleasure neural pathway … in a bit, there will be scientific explanations of this neural rewrite but let me tell you how it really feels.

Dismissal from The Pain Clinic

It’s hard to describe what it feels like to be dismissed from a facility I’d been part of for over four years. Dr. Smith administered steroid injections, he prescribed my pain management protocol and above all — he was approachable and humorous. Once he remarked “You’re the only patient I have that knows how to read, there’s no one to show it to” when I tried to comment on a New York Times article I’d recently read about how to rate […]

And we’re close to getting Thomas’s Recipe … read on.

It’s hard to describe what it feels like to be dismissed from a facility I’d been part of for over four years. Dr. Smith administered steroid injections, he prescribed my pain management protocol and above all — he was approachable and humorous. Once he remarked “You’re the only patient I have that knows how to read, there’s no one to show it to” when I tried to comment on a New York Times article I’d recently read about how to rate pain. I considered my relationship with his staff to be above the cordial receptionist-nurse to patient repartee.

Second Verse, Different from the first …

and so the story continues, if you don’t read these posts in reverse order, there might be a bit of confusion, so go back to July 18, 2016 and start there, moving toward each post. BEGIN: Oxycontin, the patent-protected time-release pain medication and its kissing cousin, oxycodone the generic non-time-release, had only been around since 1995. Was there really enough research on long-term use? Back to the scene, me on the bed, a pinch of stomach gut in my hand, getting […]

Kicking Opiates After a Decade of Use

I was 60 years old at the time, just a few weeks shy of my 61st birthday. Planning to live at at least 80 (statistical possibility for sure), I glimpsed myself shooting up, in my gut, for 20 more years. Or what? What else was the Oxycontin going to shut down? It already rewrote my neural pathways, trying to subvert my pain into reasonable bits allowing me to function — or so I thought. It shut down my intestines. What was next? My liver? My kidneys?

Theory of Memory Relativity

My thoughts are thus: Nostalgia fuels memories. Memories fuel creativity. The reaction to the memory creates an action in the creative mind. Not the numbing sad mind, not the depressed mind but the whole mind. Paul King (computational neuroscientist) writes on Quora: Most likely, creativity is a whole-brain process, and creativity is maximized when information, knowledge, skills, and cognitive styles from all parts of the brain work in coordination to explore and organize as many divergent paths of thinking and feeling as possible. The nostalgia […]