The Assemblagist

Took my lit­tle ol’ Amer­i­can Save Us Now check from Mr. Obama and went straight to Michaels for a major pur­chase of Tools and sup­plies. That’s a cap­i­tal T because of the impor­tance of such objects. When pur­chas­ing power tools at Lowe’s, one must com­pare RPMs, volt­age, wattage, bright shiny alu­minum or red or orange col­ored han­dles and bat­tery sus­tain­abil­ity. When buy­ing Tools for Her at Michaels, the han­dles are a pleas­ant celadon and their is not men­tion one of RPMs, volt­age, wattage or any such beast. Each tool pack­age has a label “FEEL the soft han­dle!” rather than 7,000,000 RPM max­i­mum sus­tain­able kick-​ass-​ness.

cre­ative hand drill ??

It’s Wal­nut Hol­low at their finest. (ooooh! Apture! You let me down… you didn’t find wal​nuthol​low​.com until I searched for that term specif­i­cally with Yahoo. That’s the first time you’ve done that.)

Today I will try out my new
cre­ative sol­der­ing tool
cre­ative drill
and
cre­ative hand sander.
See, they’re all cre­ative because they are designed for me and not some Man Beast.

I must con­fess — in my pos­ses­sion are four, count ‘em 1,2,3,FOUR, Dremels. A 700 amp power drill or some­thing like that, it’s orange and it’s heavy and it will help me build an addi­tion to my house, and a roof­ing ham­mer. These are Man Size and too heavy for arthritic lady hands.

I shall post pho­tos of the true com­plex vari­ety which illus­trate my artis­tic suc­cess with such Wal­nut Hol­low cre­ative devices. Kinda’ Arlo did back when he really wanted to talk about the draft. And that, dear ones, is what being The Assem­blag­ist is about… It’s about this long and it’s about this wide and it’s about this nation we’re talk­ing about… or, in other words:

the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us.  And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.

c